When is the conscientious lying justified, and when not? We believe that we lie to protect the others we love, but actually, we are defending ourselves from condemnation, anger, consequences. The truth is sometimes too expensive and mostly covered when we talk about loyalty and money, researches show.
White Lies for People We Love
“You do not look fat in that dress,” “Its crowd is in traffic, so I’m late,” “I only had two beers.”
If the basis of the relationship is trust, lies a worm that slowly eats its foundations. But a demon that we do not want to kill. Because then, we should tell how much we paid for the dress or why are we really late.
It is not surprising that we most often lie to those we love the most. The reason is simple – we are not able to respond to their (high) expectations, and we do not want to disappoint them. And although we believe that we lie to protect the other, in fact, we protect ourselves much more from disapproval, anger, and the rejection of the person we love. Sociologists say that the most common cause of lying is the assumption that the partner will react unfavorably. We fear that we will hurt a person who is essential to us or we estimate that our actions could be criticized.
Women Lie to Protect Others, Men to Remain Positive Image About Themselves
Although members of both sexes are equally lying, women will do more often to protect the feelings of others, while men tend to protect a positive image of themselves. Both of them nevertheless agree that some lies are “justified.” According to some women, they insist on being fully involved in the management of the home budget. They do not tolerate omission here, while, on the other hand, when it comes to adultery they take the attitude “What I don’t know, it does not hurt me,” giving the partner an implicit license for the same provided she does not find out.
White Lies at The End Come With A Price
The permissible lies, however, have devastating power. A lie, in the long run, does not bring any good to relationships. It distorts confidence, and it is in direct relation with the trust. When a doubt prevails over a trust, every relationship is threatened.
But, although we have often heard the warning “Once a liar, always a liar,” it does not necessarily mean that a partner will regularly cover the truth if he did it once. If a person tells us a white lie, we should not give her the label of a liar. The person we label so, we write off the ability to correct it in the future.