A breakup can be a horrible thing, especially when is not expected, so sometimes, our heart makes us think, work, and behave a bit irrational. Breaking up is always difficult, with all that emotions and memories under the skin. Feeling of being left alone, unloved and hurt is something you should not pass through solely, and every single person on the planet face it at least once in a lifetime. More and more people are increasingly seeking advice on how to get over a painful breakup.
It’s a fact, the separation with someone for whom you have feelings is complicated – it’s hard not to think of all the common years and things you put in a relationship. Unfortunately, the pain cannot pass right away when you sign a divorce or leave the apartment, so many make big mistakes that further aggravate the situation.
No great ending and conclusion, just leave it…
The huge mistake that people makes is to ask the ex for a confirmation they really ended the relationship forever. You have no idea how they will react when sees or hears you. If your ex-partner doesn’t want anything more with you, or already moved on, you can end up feeling worse than before the meeting. A lot of people, even if they get a clear answer from the former lover, find it’s not enough. Like they want to be hurt. In a way, it’s like addiction, as if your brain is getting rid of drugs and obsessed with it all the time. Another reason to break every contact is to give yourself, and your mind, time to pass it on. The more you talk or seeing him or she after the breakup, your mind became more accustomed to your ex and assumed it’s normal to find him around all the time. But it’s not. That’s what the breakup is. In the end, it’s worth the sacrifice to wipe it off the phone, Facebook, Instagram, etc.
You’re trying to get through all by yourself
Maybe you are single, but that does not mean that you have to go through a breakup all by yourself. If you allow friends, family or close people to know what you are passing through, it can be of great help. Talk to them, tell the sad story. But also, listen. A friend loves you and wish you the best. No matter how ugly the truth can sound, the objective perspective can always bring you good advice after the breakup. Just make sure not to shake it up on anyone who wants to hear you because otherwise you will be left without a friend very quickly. The key to everything is finding interlocutors who will warn you when you become too obsessed or self-destructive, and make you smile even just for a moment.
You blame the ex for everything
Sure, it’s a great feeling when you call your ex a bloody name and emphasize every one of his faults that you definitely will not miss. But, even when all your friends say that they never liked your ex, it’s essential that you also take on the part of the guilt for the breakup. To fully recover healthily, you need to understand what your role was in all of this, and even if it was minimal. You’ve been cheated, ignored or had a fear of attachment, but stayed in relationship anyway. Face it, there were indications you neglected, now learn something from your mistakes.
Look for vengeance
At first, it can sound like a good idea – the eye for an eye, returning to someone for your broken heart. However, anger is never the right path to recover and move on. This will hurt you more than the person you are avenging (and perhaps he will never find out). Most people will tell you that revenge is a desperate act that will “crush” and the most durable. Stay proud and brave after the breakup. Forgive and wish all the best to your ex-lover. It is the best way of healing.
Too much analyzing
It may act like a runaway from reality, but a little distraction as you go through a break is wholly healthy. People should overcome the breakup, but only when they stop to analyze the things continually: ex-partner, his family, friends, relationship, his childhood, own childhood, life situations, gifts, breaking up- moment, everything.
Analyzing ends you up with a lot of questions. Makes you wanna call your ex and prolong the agony. In case you are tempted to call him or her, check the Facebook fids, think twice. Focus your energy to something else, or someone else. Not necessary mean to go dating right after the breakup, but to channel your anger and sadness to something useful and productive. For example, volunteer. So you will turn your thoughts away from temptation.
Breaking up is never easy. Everybody sometimes hurts, but from our wounds, we can grow up even more beautiful things and feeling and give them to the persons whom really deserve them.