Saying “YES” to the person you are in love was so easy. Who would have thought that one day you would wake up in the same bed, the same room, under the same roof, and realize that this is no longer the person who stole your heart? Marriage is not an easy thing. There are thousands of obstacles and problems that need to be solved, and to be solved together. Sometimes people are trying too hard, they do their best, but it seems like their path persistently goes in the opposite direction. Suddenly, between the romantic ‘yes’ and the signing of the divorce paper, as the speed of light, everything passed by.
Divorce never comes just like that. Most often, there is a good reason, even worse, there are often indicators before the marriage ends. If you have divorced, it is very likely that you are hurt or hurt someone. It is inevitable. However, we can not copy all the blame to ourselves or your partner. Some things just happen in life. So they should be viewed just like that – like life.
Today, a considerable number of marriages end up with divorce. A modern way of life, putting traditional ideas on the side, active and more independent life greatly ease the decision to leave partners. But as long as it does today, divorce will disrupt the flow of life and sentiment, especially to children. Well, if you have already realized you can not be together anymore, it may be the right time to make a shared vision of what your relationship will look like after divorce. Maybe it’s time to agree on something finally.
Drama-free relationship after the split
You will get over the post-divorce period and solitude. It can’t last forever. In fact, it depends if you want to. The emotional burden after divorce is enormous, but you should not allow yourself to be angry and sad when you establish a new relationship with your former partner. Try to find the middle. Just what you didn’t know how to do when you were married. Only, this time, there is no need for drama. Talk cold heads can solve the problems and find better solutions.
Do not turn back to the old
Divorce is a long process, often confusing. It will put you on a battlefield with a person you love or have loved, and after a couple of hours, again in bed. This is the inner struggle of both partners. However, this approach is not right. The persistence of sex, moments of vulnerability, and even short, intense fights resembling those good fights in marriage, will only prolong inevitably. If you have decided to divorce, don’t play with your own and others feelings. It’s time for one door to close and other to opens.
Play in the same team – the team “our children are the most important”
Of course, many people will remain in unhealthy marriages to sacrifice for their children. Even so, a lousy marriage must have beautiful moments in the family circle. So, when you are divorced, try always to mention every possible beautiful moment with your children when you were together. Let them know that divorce has nothing to do with them and that both of you are on their side. Have children see you make decisions together and play in the same team.
Be honest and without any hidden expectations
The divorce has more phases. When you go through the striking the hardest one, it means you have reconciled with the fact that you are no longer a couple. Your feelings towards an ex-partner have probably changed. However, do not lie to yourself and others. It’s very dangerous if you mess up a good relationship and commitment after divorce with sexual vibration or attraction. That usually never happens. If you stay buried with your feelings, you will be more likely to hurt by the fact that your partner moved on, build a new life and, once again, rejected you. Be always clear about emotions and start working on your life course.
Be supportive of each other
If you succeed in cleansing the emotional mess that you have made together, it’s time to return to phase one of your relationship. Try to be friends. Keep from your relationship what was right. Divorce separated you as a couple, which does not mean you can not cheer for each other and be a great support. The advantage is always there, you know the other person very well.
Try to forgive and move on
To forgive someone who has hurt you is a big thing, it requires a huge heart. Once you feel deeply in yourself that you have solemnly resolved not to hate, not to remember evil and not to want revenge, you will feel such a relief. You will be able to move on, build something new, fresh and beautiful. Then you will be able to rejoice in the other. And why would stay enemies, if after your divorce you both found own happiness? Try to clean your heart from bad feelings and move on.