Frankly, we don’t have the intention to destroy your picture of romantic and eternal love. We just want to understand what is so sensational in the sense of love, when butterflies are giggling our stomach, and heart accelerates the beats. We have all heard the expressions like “love chemistry” or “formula for love.” But what is real love science? Will we rather find reliable evidence about how this beautiful feeling is born, in philosophy or in biology? Perhaps love science is much simpler than you think. Let’s analyze the symptoms we know.
Love Science: Biochemical Symptoms
Have you noticed how we become clumsy in front of a person we like? We always blush, our hands begin to sweat, and our hearts accelerate rapidly. Unfortunately, as we try to hide the “obsession,” all this love seems to flush out of us. So, we mumble, we trip and die of shame. For centuries, all these symptoms were associated with the heart, in fact, which come directly from our brain, most precisely from the hypothalamus.
Dr. Helen Fisher at Rutgers is one of the successful myth -boosters when love science is about. She separates tree elements in the following categories: lust, attraction, attachment.
When we place these three categories in a specific table, for each, we can determine the exact hormones that flow from our brain. Thus, the lust is arousing due to the secretion of testosterone and estrogen, male and female sex hormones. Estrogen less, but testosterone will wake up the libido at both sexes and boost sexual drive.
Higher levels of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin cause attraction between two people, and oxytocin and vasopressin can be tackled with the genuine sincerity of love, that we see as an attachment.
Love science fact No 1: Lust
If these three elements go in this order, lust is the first point. It activates by our natural desire and predisposition to reproduce. Reproduction and transmission of genes is the maintenance of a species. It leads us to the conclusion – perhaps the love science is just our biological option, same like in rats or birds?
Love science fact No 2: Attraction
Love science says: The brain sees love as a reward. Even if they seem almost alike, lust and attraction do not always have to work together. You can feel the attraction to someone or vice versa, without the other.
The attraction is best shown in the first few weeks of a relationship when everything is lovely and feels like you are in the clouds. Love science also calls this feeling “falling in love.” When we do things that satisfy us, such as spending quality time with a person we like or making love, our brain produces dopamine.
A high level of dopamine and norepinephrine occurs during attraction. Those are the leading cause of why we feel dizzy, energetic, euphoric. It even leads to loss of appetite and insomnia. In fact, norepinephrine keeps us awake.
Love science fact No 3: Attachment
When we pass the first dates, waiting for the first text message, and when we cross that first months ‘in clouds”, comes something that we call a long-term connection. It is a sense of commitment, a feeling of belonging, and an awareness of the person you love. This bonding is not only associated with love for a partner. It is caused by the excretion of oxytocin and vasopressin hormones. The first one is known as ‘cuddle hormone’ and is associated with the sexual activities but also with the first moments with the newborn, breastfeeding, and outbursts of emotions towards the people you love. In fact, this hormone is the key to attachment among people. We are attached to family, friends, children, partners. Our connection comes from the desire to give them the attention and care and the feeling of a considerable missing when they are not nearby.
Side effects of love – why are we suffering, and why the heart can be broken?
All this idea of paradise, the clouds and the bed of roses are mostly followed by some, not so romantic emotions. Love is all that we have said, but also envy, jealousy, and suffering.
Dopamine is a great servant or a bad master. Take, for example – a cocaine abuse. The feeling is equally good, you feel euphoria, happiness, pleasure. But eventually, the fall to the ground leads to a sharp hit to the head. Likewise, we can become addicted to many things when one experiences a hormonal blast with the person we fall in love with. We can get used to her constant presence and become possessive. We can develop an unreal amount of jealousy that will grow into paranoia. In the end, we can get used to the material, which we have with a beloved person, that everything else becomes unacceptable.
As well as drugs, too many good things can shake our head. Love often refers to the victims. Does Love Make Us Stupid?
So, for real, there is a chemical formula for love. However, we still do not have all the answers. There is no such thing as love science. And, as we have realized so far, it’s not just the hormonal side of the equation that is complicated. Love can be the best and the worst thing that happened to you at the same time, and you still won’t find out the eternal secret of why it felt so good.
In the end, everyone will experience love in their own way. Your heart must be broken, you will be loved and you will give love, just as you may be left over, or someone is missing you even at this right moment. If you want to see love as an endless philosophy of life – go for it, we hold your fists. Again, if you’re going to follow the instructions of love science, well, you will not change much. You still will be crazy in love, only able to explain it scientifically.