Passive-aggressive behavior is a communication style and belongs to an aggressive domain. Unfortunately, it is a socially acceptable one. Passive aggression can be described as “Thinks one and speaks another.” People of passive-aggressive behavior express their negative feelings subtly through actions instead of directly showing them. Their biggest problem is the separation of words and deeds, which is why they often have questions in all areas of life. The fatality of this kind of behavior is that it is difficult to recognize, it permanently violates interpersonal relationships and complicates problems in the family or the collective.
Causes of passive aggression
Unfortunately, the exact cause of passive-aggressive behavior is not known. However, the combination of biological and external factors can contribute to the development. Researchers believe that people who show passive and aggressive behavior are starting to show up in childhood. Parental style, family dynamics, and other childhood effects can be factors that contribute to the development of such performance. Furthermore, child abuse, neglect, and severe punishment can lead to the development of passive-aggressive behavioral patterns. Some of the psychological disorders associated with it are attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), stress, anxiety disorders, depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, alcohol abuse or drugs.
Passive aggression never occurs alone, but it is always the cause or consequence of some other medical condition; Therefore, diagnosis and treatment of such patterns are often difficult and complicated.
Sarcastic, ironic remarks
Fostered as a style in everyday communication, some people cultivate this kind of humor as a way of opposing when they do not dare to openly do it or predict that an open takeover for themselves could have enormous consequences for them. The irony is the harm to others, revenge, and domination.
Hidden negative feelings behind the facade of kindness
Another side of passive-aggressive behavior hides in a discrepancy between actions and reactions. There may be a difference between verbal and nonverbal communication; Verbal expressions are often very harmful to the other side, and non-verbal are kindness, warmth, and support. As the non-verbal message is first loaded and 70% of the communications go through non-verbal channels, the recipient of the message is most often in confusion and becomes cautious.
Rarely publicly expressing its opinion
Preserving thoughts for itself is used to control the behavior of others and domination. In a partnership or in family relations, such as “secrecy” keeps other side held in uncertainty and controls behavior.
General after the battle. “Here I told you …”, “I knew, it was not so …”, “If you listened to me, this would not happen.” They are very active in this role of the general after the battle and long tortures his victim who does not know how to fight with his own guilt, and the anger towards the sender of the message.
Always a victim
“That’s how you give me back,” “Let me, I do not matter,” “If I so deserve it, let it be,” “I did it for you.” The victim role is a powerful passive-aggressive weapon. First, makes the recipient of the message feel guilty, then the anger that is difficult to get out of. It is especially devastating in family relations because the whole system suffers when one member manipulates the behavior of others in the role of the victim. This role is often reserved for women who are struggling in this way not only for an equal but also a dominant role in the family.
Accuses others of their frustrations
“You make me unhappy,” “You’re ruining my life,” “You do not do anything for me.” Some people seek for exaggerated support, approval, and encouragement from others, and when something of this is absent, they accuse others of their life failures. It keeps them from losing self-esteem and distorting the image of themselves.
Ignoring aims to make the person feeling bad. Parents are prone to ignore their children as a form of punishment. It is important to remember that bad feelings cannot lead to good behavior. Negative attitudes of anger and guilt are not repairing emotion, on the contrary, there are no disastrous feelings in the human psyche.