Are you about to say “I do”? If you are, here we are going to present you 20 questions which you should have the ability to answer honestly before you make it to the altar.
Before walking down the aisle, you must have these internal conversations.
Maybe you and your partner have been together for a while and you are considering taking a big step, or perhaps you just started seeing one another and are not sure if you should stay in the course.
No matter what your situation is, a check-in will never be a bad thing. Read this article and look the 20 questions which you should ask about your relationship before you move forward.
1. Is for better or worse making me better or worse?
Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he/she get intimidated by any triumphs and feel more secure when you are not putting your best forward?
2. Do we really accept one another?
There will always be something that you will want to change about the people in your life, but no one should actually be in a situation where they feel that they are not allowed to be authentic and accepted as unique, as well as the special person they are.
3. Who am I?
How can you know that your partner is good for you if you have no idea who you are actually?
4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?
The idea of sharing a life together with your partner is not to find someone that will complete you or make you happy. But, we should face it: being unhappy at home can actually have some effect in some other areas of your life…and fast. If you are fighting all the time, or just generally you don’t feel great about your second half, it does not mean that you have to bail out, but marrying someone hoping that it will change things, is actually a bad, bad idea.
5. Am I feeling trapped?
Do you really feel like you want to be in this relationship most of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay in the relationship because you have invested time or are you really invested in your partner?
6. What am I doing to hold us back?
You may be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to bring up going to counseling. Whatever it is, you should take this a sign to step up.
7. Is this relationship balanced?
Do you feel that you and your partner are both on the same page in terms of a compromise, care, support, and sacrifice? Or, is just one of your doing most of the giving while the other one is just sitting with their hand out?
8. Can we have fun together?
Sometimes, seeing two people sitting across from one another in silence looks like they have been forced to pass their day together. Well, there is no fun in this.
9. Can we have fun apart?
Co – dependency is not a cure, you know that?
10. Why am I in this relationship?
Is the reason for this because you respect, love, trust and value the person you are in a relationship with? Or it is just because you are afraid of being alone, worried about finances or just because you have built a life that you are scared to leave?
11. Where is this going?
To live in the “now” is a great thing, but eventually, the partnership will need a plan or some of the partners will start feeling anxious.
12. Do I really trust my partner?
For some people, the immediate response to this question can be devastating. If you are one of those people, it is time to ask why and how you can start building or rebuilding trust. There is no chance without it.
13. Am I with a good person?
Knowing what you know about your partner today, would you also vouch for them if they were just a friend for you?
14. Am I attracted to my partner?
Hardly the most important component in a relationship is physical attraction, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone that is not attractive for you, just because it is a comfortable or “perfect on paper” person it is not fair to anyone. They will feel rejected and you will also feel resentful.
15. Am I a parent or a partner?
It is a great thing when you care for someone that you love, but when you feel like you are raising that person, no matter if it is a boyfriend or husband, things will get a little complicated. You will resent their childish ways. Who wants to sleep with their mom?
16. Does my partner have my back?
If your relationship is good, you should feel like you are a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front. But, if you feel like you are constantly being thrown under the bus by your partner, then this is bad.
17. Are we looking in the same direction?
There are couples who avoid having the big talks (religion, marriage, babies), as they think that, somehow, these things will just work themselves out. As the time passes, they realize that they won’t and that they are in a complicated, painful situation which leaves one feeling a little bit duped.
18. Are we growing together?
As human beings living on this planet, all of us have the right to grow and develop, as well as create a full life for ourselves. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions, and growing as individuals?
19. Am I still me?
When we are in love with someone, they should not require changing our identity in order to fit their idea of who we should be, on any level.
20. What is my gut telling me?
You have an intuition for a reason, so you should listen to yourself all the time.