It is a typical misconception that jealousy is a sign of caring and love.
The quote that follows was posted on Twitter, by someone whose username least suggested they were associated with the field of psychology. It was written:
“The people that are really in love get jealous about some silly things.”
It is surprising that this misconception is so deeply ingrained that even those people who appear to be psychologically savvy believe it.
Jealousy can sometimes be a major relationship problem.
As a survey of martial therapists reported, romantic jealousy was a severe problem for a third of their clients. We will need to dispel the myth that jealousy is a proof of love. Still, what is that motivates jealous reactions? Some research has linked the following traits to jealousy:
– Low self-esteem.
– Neuroticism: a tendency to be moody, as well as nervous and emotionally unstable.
– Emotions of possessiveness and insecurity.
– Dependence on your partner: Even when you ask individuals to believe that they do not have good alternative partners that can lead to more negative responses to hypothetical jealousy-inducing situations.
– The feeling of inadequacy in a relationship: worrying that you are not good enough for your partner.
– An insecure attachment style: A chronic orientation towards romantic relationships which include the fear that your partner is going to reject you or will not love you enough.
Some research has demonstrated that temporarily causing individuals to feel more securely attached, by asking them to think about receiving affection, as well as support from a loved one, makes them react less severely to a hypothetical jealousy-inducing scenario.
The factors which relate to jealousy are about the anxieties of jealous people and not about the love that they might have for their partner.
Therefore, if your partner is showing unwarranted jealousy, what can you do?
First, you should realize that the jealousy of your partner is not about you. It is about them. You will need to respond to your partner’s expressions of jealousy by reassuring them of your love. Some research has demonstrated that those that respond to the jealousy of their partner by proving their interest and attraction often have more stable relationships.
But, what should you do if you are the jealous partner? Here we have some actions which can help you deal with your insecurities.
– You should avoid situations which are likely to lead to false suspicions. In a survey, researchers have discovered that jealous people tended to monitor their partners’ social media activity. The more they snooped on the Facebook of their partner, the more they would discover ‘evidence’ to worry about, which also led them to spy even more, as well as create a vicious cycle of monitoring and jealousy.
– You should try to work on yourself. Build your confidence in yourself, as well as your romantic relationship.
– You should communicate more with your partner. If you experience some jealousy, you should talk about it with them. But, you should also watch the way you discuss it. Expressing anger or sarcasm will not help you. You should also be direct, but not accusing and hostile. You should try to calmly explain your emotions, as well as discuss how you could find a solution. That is also going to enable you to be more satisfied and ‘save’ your partner from getting confused by your behavior. These communication strategies which can often bring out positive reactions in your partner.
– Nevertheless, sometimes jealousy is justified. If your partner has betrayed your trust by cheating on you, for example, that is a serious problem. If your partner does not seek monogamy, and you do, it is normal to feel jealous, but it is also an indication that you should find another partner that is compatible with you. It is those ‘silly things’ that should not make you jealous. You also have to be able to recognize the signs of unreasonable jealousy and find a solution.