For your first face – to – face date, you sit down across from the person you met online. You are excited and thrilled to finally be meeting in person. On the other hand, you are also nervous about making a good first impression. You want to appear excited but yet relaxed in order to make your date comfortable. Sure, both of you have been communicating online and probably on the phone. But, the first impressions are made in person and quickly. Moreover, they are also based in large part on facial expressions.
So, you ask yourself a question about how you can put your best face forward the very first time you lock eyes?
You should think this through in advance, as according to one research, you will be sized up in a matter of milliseconds. Over and Cook, in a piece entitled “Where do spontaneous first impressions of faces come from?” (2018), you should note that adults make trait judgments after viewing faces for about 100 milliseconds. Some of the traits which we attribute spontaneously to strangers, which is based solely on their faces that include intelligence, honesty, dominance, competence, trustworthiness, as well as likability. And of course, the perceptions we have also attribute our behavior.
There is no pressure, right? But, preparation, as well as relaxation will allow you to have some great first meet up which should lead to a second. First of all, you should greet your date with a natural, as well as authentic smile – with your entire face, which includes your eyes. This also conveys authenticity and the, as the time goes on, you should actively match your expression with your attention.
One of the great first impressions includes some positive emotion. Some research has demonstrated that smiling prompts a variety of positive behaviors. Yet, for maximum impact, your smile has to be authentic. In order to demonstrate the concrete beliefs of a genuine smile, there is one study by Gujisic et al., which was entitled “Not all smiles are created equal” form 2014. It has shown that smiles from serving staffers which are genuine, as well as authentic, prompt costumers to tip more. Providing such service with that smile is not sufficient itself. However, they have also demonstrated that customers can distinguish between an authentic smile, as well as paste – on grin. But, how is that possible? It is through the warmth and duration of the smile.
Gujisic et al. note which while authentic smiles are warm, inauthentic smiles are perceived as cool, as well as forced. Perhaps, what is even more interesting, they note that genuine smiles are actually longer in both onset and offset. On the other hand, inauthentic smiles actually appear, as well as disappear quickly.
But, what this actually means to you? It means that one great way of facing a first date is with a smile. Yet because great beginnings usually prompt great expectations, after you and your date exchange an authentic, as well as early exchange of preliminary pleasantries, what is next? Your ability to maintain an appropriate affect actually depends on the ability of engaging in active listening. But, here is actually the caveat: You cannot use active listening unless you are paying some attention.
You should match your expression to the communication
One of the most common mistakes that trial attorneys make in the courtroom is failing to listen to the answers of witnesses. They shuffle some papers, as well as scroll on their computer. They even mentally formulate their next question instead of focusing on the potential dynamite testimony which came from the witness stand. This type of multitasking is actually causing the loss of great evidence. Yet, that is actually not all they lose. Unfocused advocates lose their credibility with their witness, as well as judge, client, and jury, as a result of distraction signals disinterest.
The same dynamics are actually in play on a date. Mental or physical multitasking is actually massed opportunity, in order to make a great first impression. Looking at the menu, as well as continual fumbling with your electronic device, or even thinking about what question you want to ask next, instead of listening to the things which your date is actually saying, can create some distance by conveying indifference.
And you will not have the ability to hide your lack of focus. Your expression will actually give you away. You cannot pretend to be interested in what someone else is saying. If you have no idea what that person is talking about, you are not paying much attention. Your face will betray you for sure.
Seeing is believing
Authenticity is believable, as well as memorable. Over the course of a meal, you will have an opportunity to establish a connection with sustained attention and positive expression. No matter the ultimate outcome of your new relationship, whether it is romantic or platonic, you should display some genuine, positive expression. This will actually allow you to make a great first impression, assuring that new acquaintances will like what they see.