Nowadays, things are different in our age than they were in our mom’s age. We are sure that moms can also say the same thing. Sometimes, you may find yourself as a mother disagreeing with some member of your family from the older generation on a variety of things, all encompassed in the world of parenting today. This is simply because that family member is used to one way of parenting just as you will be one day, if and when your children have kids.
Our ways of parenting are attached to a lot of loving memories of our children and how we view the success of them. So, that family members from the older generations may also feel the same. He or she may also feel pride about how he or she has raised the little ones and how the kids turned out. According to Grandma, Uncle Bob, or whoever of your family, how you do things as a parent may seem odd in the eyes of that person. Here, we are going to present you a few things which our generation of moms does that our mom’s generation didn’t do – or didn’t do as much:
Our moms breastfed us and our brothers and sisters. But in her day, it was still fairly uncommon. According to the CDC, about 79% breastfeed at birth and about 49.4% continue breastfeeding at six months.
In our times, when we were 4, we didn’t go to activities or play places. We went to preschool part time, and the rest of the time, we played at our homes or outside. We didn’t do our first major after-school curricular activity until we were 9. And our kids at 4 years old may have been in dance for three years now for example. Times have changed drastically.
3. Rock the mom’s clubs
For sure, our mothers had neighborhood parents and friends and maybe the PTO. But they were not involved in as many moms’ clubs as we are nowadays. In many different ways, our mothers’ families did what our moms’ groups do today: support and help guide mothers. And for our times, we had to make “villages” rather differently and most of the time our support is usually virtual than in person.
4. Day care
Our parents used their parents to watch us. Yet, many of our parents are still working, because retiring in this country is rather difficult.
For example, our moms used our sisters or our fathers to watch us and when the need to watch us outgrew the family, we might had a neighborhood babysitter. Those still exist of course, but many of us are set to find preschools and day cares to care for our children. School vacations, as well as summers can be tricky. The level of need for care is actually much higher than the needs of our moms were.
5. Question doctors
We are not writing this article in order to start a war, but more than ever, parents and moms question doctors – for example for vaccines. We all know the controversy around them. But, the topics do not end with simply shots. We can also extend it to so many topics such as feeding and discipline. This is not to say that our mothers didn’t tell the doctor “I don’t agree with you,” but it is more common today for moms to seek second opinions, as well as educate themselves first simply because the internet makes it too easy for us to get information, within second, unlike our parents who had to head to the library for some intense researching.
6. Girls’ night out
You should ask your mom how often she had a “moms’ night out” or a “girls’ night out”. Probably not as many as we have, even if we rarely go out. We should be more apt as being moms, in order to acknowledge our needs as individuals, which also makes us happier and healthier mommies.
7. Question teachers
This is something negative in our opinion. Nowadays, teachers are less valued than in the time of our parents. This is not to say that all teachers are created equal, but that is not so common for a parent to wander if the teacher is accurate or just “a good teacher” as in the past. It was a lot less heard “Not my kid” than it is today, and nowadays that phrase is heard frequently.
8. Seek out help
When their kids had developmental issues or behavioral problems or as moms they had their own personal issues, they were probably less inclined to seek for help or they also had fewer resources at their fingerprints. We have to admit that professionals didn’t exist or weren’t as prevalent back then like the numerous therapists — occupational, physical, speech, behavior analysts, etc.
The discussions which were made around postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis were whispered. Nowadays, they may not be mainstream issues, but we as parents are more aware.
9. Get an ultrasound
Our moms may never saw us on the big screen, floating around our amniotic fluid. We may have had many ultrasounds with our daughters.
10. Get divorced or single mom status, period
Nowadays, divorce and/or single motherhood is more common. The US Census Bureau states that in 2011, in the United States, there were around 10 million single mothers with children younger than 18 years of age. The number was 3.4 million in 1970. A lot of people tell us that the older generations stuck a marriage out and also believed in love. Perhaps this is true. Perhaps we have become lazier people or even more apt to quit when it’s busted, but as a single mom who’s getting a divorce after a lot of rounds of marriage counseling. We think that this generation is less likely to tolerate a bad situation. We have some more resources to pull us through than our mothers had in the past. Our mothers are probably more scared to leave a marriage than we may be now.
No matter from which time you are, as mothers and grandmothers we have so much to learn from each other nowadays.