One of the most critical factors of what kids may become and how quality life they’ll have is parental commitment they have. Many who have been deprived by this love and attention can testify how hard it is to grow up without proper advice, a shoulder to cry, and someone who will be proud of you. The parent gives the wind to the child’s back, that’s the most valuable truth. Still, there are those who take the parental role too seriously. Often, their ambitions grow beyond the possibility of their children. The ‘helicopter parenting’ is a common term for parents who are over-protective and over-ambitious in every segment of the child’s life. We agree it can bring certain benefits, but most often, it will emotionally or mentally disable children to become independent and responsible people.
What is helicopter parenting?
Helicopter parenting or over-parenting is an overwhelming need for involvement and control over the kid’s life. This need is mainly expressed in the middle class, due to fear that the offspring will remain materially unsafe, status degraded or unaccepted. These patents are mostly forcing their children to achieve goals they have failed, and demand to overcome their personal accomplishments.
Helicopter parenting is recognized even in the early stages of parenting, but let’s say it is most pronounced during elementary and high school. The youngest are often exposed to a large number of obligations: playing piano, learning more foreign languages, sports, finding talent and emphasizing its development. Helicopter parent is often a tremendous competitor, he can’t lose. Unfortunately, he often can’t see that child is not gifted for something. And while he is doing so, he suppresses love for something else that kids like and want to do.
Such families often engage in conflict with others in order to “defend” their children without a real perception of events. On this side, they behave too protective, while in the next situation, the helicopter parent can override his offspring due to the slightest error or minor failure.
Such a parent will teach his child the class we need to belong, what qualities should be valued in people, what should be a life goal.
It doesn’t stop only on adolescents and teenagers. Helicopter parenting continues. Even when an adult child leaves the parental home, goes to college, marries, builds a career. Studies show some parents also visit job fairs on behalf of their children (adult children) and negotiate jobs and salary. These connections, unfortunately, lead to deviant relationships of adult people with a pathological attachment to mother and father.
All negative sides of helicopter parenting
Every child has to go through different stages of life. This implies a lot of ups and downs and learning on their own mistakes. Parent is an essential factor when it happens. Mom and dad are there to give a hand, to motivate and support no matter what. However, too much desire to help can lead to taking the over-control in things that concern the child himself. This way, children’s personality, and confidence are in danger.
A study shows that children who grew up among helicopter parenting often suffer from anxiety, more than children who grow up more independently. Parents simply see every challenge as a danger and start their own initiative to protect the child from possible defeat. They reduce their natural ability to defend themselves and take it on their own.
A second study shows that helicopter parenting can actually produce anxiety in children. Their constant presence, involvement in school projects, the selection of friends and activities make a pressure, especially for adolescents. Worse, such children do not develop persistence, and later face depression and other emotional problems.
The effect that may be the most visible and directly related to helicopter parenting is social skills development. It mostly refers to the period of puberty and early teenage years, when it is essential to make a circle of friends have a sense of belonging and be recognized as individuals in the group of peers. Having a mother or father who will always be behind your back, while not allowing the second of the free time for some necessary first experiences, will make a huge handicap for the child in achieving social goals in life.
Does the helicopter parenting have any good influence on children?
In order not to just tarnish parents, it should be pointed – research proves their involvement in the child’s life as one of the main reasons for healthy growing up. It’s all a matter of measure and boundaries that you set. Each parent strives towards the best performance of their children, safe and happy life.
With enough love and attention, children are evolving into successful and model citizens. They become academically educated, scientists, artists. Picture how tragic it could be that no one recognized your talent for art when you were 5? Imagine that no one both your first football snickers? Imagine that nobody hugged you after your heart was broken for the first time. Yes, parents have always been there for you. Even if sometimes they buzz around our heads like helicopters.
Interestingly, and if psychology considers this phenomenon harmful to children, those who grew up under the helicopter parenting rules, describe their parent’s actions as positive. They feel thankful and loved.