Louise Hay said: “I monitor my self – talk, in order to make sure if it is supportive and uplifting for myself and for others as well.”
Here we are going to tell you a story about the power of words and it goes like this:
Three years ago, a person ended up with no work in foreign country. The person was almost depressed as she didn’t know what to say when people asked questions about her profession. The idea of no making income injected her mind with a wide repertoire of worries, fears and concerns as well.
She was lost and stuck. The way she was labeling herself at the time felt quite painful: unemployed. It was not just looking like she had a serious problem to deal with that. She was also starting to feel like she was the problem itself.
All of us perceive the reality of our experiences filtered through our own lenses, the expectations that we set on ourselves and others, as well as our individual system of belief. For some people, being unemployed is just a fact. It is not good or bad, normal or abnormal, right or wrong. But for her, it held a strong negative connotation. In a world which generally validates our self – worth, through what we actually do for a living, being left with no work made her feel like a total failure.
Thanks to one of the spiritual teachers who helped her grow into who she is today, named Wayne Dyer, she says that she managed to change her perspective and also see the things in much different light. Here is what she says she remembers him saying in an interview on YouTube: “The problem of people is their belief that they have a problem. When a person changes the way he/she looks at things, the things he/she looks at change.”
She says that his words spoke to her from inside out.
She came like thunder: a wake – up call which was going to shift her entire experience. Everything changed at the moment when she decided to look at the situation from a different angle.
She decided to eliminate the word “unemployed” from her vocabulary and she went for more empowering words instead. She was “job hunting”, as well as “looking for better employment opportunities” while being “in transition to a new career.”
The feelings of frustration and sadness that came with deep sense of unworthiness and identity loss got replaced by a much cleaner space of possibilities, as well as hope and curiosity for a fresh start.
She says that when she changed her perspective, as well as the language she was using for describing her experience, she stopped feeling like victim. Things were not imposed on her any longer and she also had power.
All of a sudden, she could see the bright side of the situation.
When she was busy with work, always running to some other place, as well as working overtime to reach goals and fulfill her duties, she wanted so much to get more. And when she was without a job, she accused life of being unfair. But, it was not actually.
She realized that she had all the time in the world that she wanted. That was a precious gift, she says, as time goes and never comes back. She had enough savings in order to rely on and supportive husband too. She says that she also had a dream to pursue – to do soul work with people and make the world a much better place. After one year, she got certified as a coach.
Nowadays, she claims that she knows it was a real blessing in disguise. “Unemployed” was not a weakness, but it was an opportunity for her to grow personally, as well as build a new career from scratch.
She says that she had also learned that failing with anything does not make you a failure. Being left with no work can be experience for everyone. It does not have to define you or lower your self – worth unless you allow it.
She says that one more time, Wayne Dyer was right: a person is a “human being” not a “human doing”.
The words we speak and the thoughts we think have tremendous power.
Words are a form of energy and their vibration can have a high effect on the way we feel and think. They can even empower us or put us down.
The girl from the story invites you to try the following exercise: you are supposed to think of a situation in your life which looks like a problem. Then, stay for a moment with that and get mindful of how that actually feels in your body.
After that, you should think of the same situation as if that was an issue or a topic for you to brainstorm, reflect and deal with it. Can you see the difference and how much lighter you feel as well?
You have not done anything else, but you just replaced the word “problem” with the word “issue”.
When she was a child, her mother advised her to always pay attention on the words she says.
Her mother said: “A person can kill or save another with only one word.” She didn’t get what her mother was saying at that time, but she says that now she gets it.
Looking back at her life, she realized that she spent a lot of years punishing herself with disempowering words about who she was. Thinking that she was not good enough, perceiving herself as a failure when she was making mistakes, taking herself for granted unable to acknowledge her achievements, as if “anyone could do that” or “it was not anything big or special”.
And here is how the voices in her head used to sound: “Stupid me!” “I’m not good enough.” “I’ll never get this.” “This is too big for me.” “I am average.”
Years later, thanks to the beautiful words of Louise Hay, she says that she has learned that being mindful of her self – talk was actually one of the best forms of self – care and self – respect that she could have made.
Louise Hay once said: “You have been criticizing yourself for years and it was not working. You should try approving of yourself and see what will happen.”
She says she had never told her best friend what an idiot she was for doing this or saying that. And if her best friend was to consider herself ugly or stupid, she would have never encouraged such an idea. She would have supported her in the best way she could.
It took her a while to understand how unfair she was to herself.
She was talking to other people kindly and showing them compassion while putting herself down each day. Just like everyone else, she was also a person that was worthy of being seen and listened to, as well as appreciated, understood, forgiven, respected, acknowledged, nurtured, and loved.
The day when she stopped making herself small with her self – talk, her life transformed. Here is what she knows to be true today:
She says that she is whatever she believes herself to be. If a person thinks that he/she is smart, beautiful, ugly or stupid, that is what her reality becomes. All of us get to shape our own story by the way we feel, act and think.
She says that besides everything, she does not have any weaknesses, She only has areas for growth.
While she is aware of the things she needs to work on, the very fact that she has replaced the word “weakness” by “area of growth” is empowering. Every one of us is on a journey which is called life, and that is all about learning.
A few months ago, she moved to Mexico with her husband. They understand Spanish, but neither of them can speak it. She could see this as a weakness, but she chose not to. This is nothing but an area of growth. She says that both of them are going to acquire new skills, expand their knowledge and grow as individuals. They have started taking lessons already.
The words that people use in their everyday life have power. They can either destroy or build relationships with themselves and other people. Getting mindful of their self – talk is one of the best forms of self – love and self – compassion. You should let people choose their words wisely.
Dr. Andrew Newberg said:
“The language we speak shapes our behavior and each word we use is imbued with multitudes of personal meaning. When the right words are spoken in the right way can bring us love, money, and respect, while the wrong words, or even the right ones that are spoken in the wrong way, can lead to a country of war. We need to orchestrate our speech carefully if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.”